In the Meantime: Thoughts on Grieving Well

by Andrea Kolber


I heard someone say once, "To be human is to grieve." I couldn't agree more.

Our family has recently gone through a season of grief and it reminds me again why I love educating people about emotional health, trauma, and pain. 

This recent experience brought these thoughts to mind, and really, they're for all of us. 

Enjoy.


In the meantime, while you lick your wounds, I hope you’ll be gentle with your heart.

I hope you’ll tell the voice in your head—the loud, booming, accusing voice—to leave. Or at least be quiet.

I hope you’ll seek out people who love you well.

I hope you give yourself some radical self love; the kind you wish to receive from others, but sometimes need to give yourself.

I hope you’ll pass on commitments that are too big right now, and focus on the next right thing. 

I hope you’ll give yourself room to grieve. And when—not if—the big tears come, I hope you’ll bring compassion as you observe your pain.

I hope you’ll give yourself permission to say 'no' and take space from people who don't get it.

I hope when you’re tempted to find an easy fix; instead you’ll lean into your resources, and your people, and your God so they may give you the courage and strength to keep going.

I hope instead of condemnation for your pain, you’ll feel freedom to feel all the feelings.  

I hope you allow the pain to move through you instead of become stuck in your soul. And as you do, I pray you notice the tingling of change and courage and acceptance start to plant their seeds.  

I hope at some point you take stock of your progress. And when you do, I pray you feel proud of the road you’ve walked. 

I hope you begin to see your wounds turn into battle scars. And when they turn, I hope you wear it like a badge of honor, proving you are still here—you’re still walking.

***

In the meantime, I hope you feel loved. 

I hope you feel seen.

I hope you can allow other folks to carry you for a bit, until you feel strong enough to walk again.

I hope you experience the tangible comfort of Jesus—the ultimate wounded healer. The one who used and uses his scars to heal us.

And dear one, when the meantime is over, I hope you heal and become even more certain of your beloved-ness and value.